Monday Night

OK so I packed and fretted all day versus posting. But I am still here dammit just a little late. Not sure if anyone is reading my blog anyhow. Had an OK day for the most part I guess. Got some packing done, only have felt sick to my stomach this evening (was craving chili...BAD IDEA). I wanted to get pregnant SO BAD. It was all I thought about. I couldnt even be around pregnant people, babies, or look at the baby section without being completely depressed and sad (so I avoided these things entirely). Now that I am pregnant, I AM SCARED TO DEATH! It is like my mind wont let me be excited which is what I AM SUPPOSED TO BE well I thought I would be. I am not sure what I am to be quite honest. One minute it is exciting the next I am "what the fuck did I do?" Is this normal first mom-to-be jitters/anxiety? Does it get better? Am I nuts?
According to my calendar TODAY my embryo graduated to being a fetus. Kinda cool. I still "dont believe it" and just doesnt seem possible to be real! We go to the doctor next Tuesday the 12th and not sure what will go on. Think we will hear a heartbeat? Probably too soon for an ultrasound..THOUGH I WANT ONE SO BADLY!! Well I am off to pack for a little longer then going to bed! Thats another worry-I love my sleep, after the baby am I going to be a stark raving bitch cuz I never will sleep again?? If I dont sleep it IS NOT PRETTY. Worries Worries...